I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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