So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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