This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize