He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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