I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
