this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
