This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
