After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
