Slut skills are useful in every country.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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