I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize