you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
