his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
