Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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