Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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