my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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