Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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