i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
