FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
