Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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