i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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