So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
