i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize