but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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