we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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