The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
