i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
