I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Randomize
