if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
