I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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