Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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