you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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