Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize