ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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