it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize