it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
