also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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