Walk of Shame. In a state park.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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