life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
