just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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