I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
