i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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