She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think my vagina is haunted
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize