So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
