Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
