I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
