I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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