I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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