Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
