i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
