Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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