Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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