I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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