dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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