As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
