I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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