they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
