Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
