I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
