she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
