I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
me + whiskey = a bad person
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
