I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
