So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
