you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
